I love what I do. I am privileged to take care of patients through all stages of their lives. No where is this more rewarding than obstetrics. I met a little baby last week. She was only 7 weeks old by ultrasound measurements but she had a heartbeat and I could see her jump and move as I watched her on the screen. Her mom was young and wanted to talk about "options". We talked about adoption verses keeping the baby. I gave mom a picture of her heartbeat. When I asked, Mom said she wanted to keep her, that she knew it would be tough but that she had a decent support system. Mom made an appointment with me to get started with her OB care.
Mom had an abortion last week.
My heart breaks for the little life that doesn't get to be. No one mourned her passing. No one chose to give her a chance to live. I knew her Mom was at high risk to make this Choice and I spent more time with her than I had, hoping, praying to make a difference. Ultimately it was Mom's Choice to make. I know that it is not easy to be pregnant, that delivery is painful but...it is nine months of inconvenience for a chance to LIVE.
And now, Mom alone is my patient. She has pain after the procedure and they told her to follow up with me. I asked Why she made that Choice. I had to know. The answer was simply that the pregnancy was an inconvenience- she didn't WANT to be pregnant right now.
I need and truly want to show her love, but do not know how. There is no remorse, there is no understanding of what she has done. There is just inconvenience because now she has pain. So I will treat her pain and any complications and will trust Christ to love her through me.
And I will be the only one who weeps for the life that was lost.