Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Day of Sorrow

Today is the Jewish holiday Tishah B'Av. It is a day of Fasting and remembrance of the destruction of the two temples. The first Temple was destroyed in 586 BC to be rebuilt 7 years later, the second Temple was destroyed 70 AD and has yet to be rebuilt. This article explains the context: (read the article for 7.28.09)

Why do I write about this? Because we are instructed to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, because Israel is the LORD's chosen people and because the restoration of the Temple is associated with the return of Jesus! This day is not just a day to remember the destruction, but also to pray for and anticipate His return! May we turn our hearts toward the LORD and seek his face. May his return be swift and in our day!

Remember, O Lord what has befallen us; look and see our disgrace! Our inheritance has been turned over to strangers, our homes to aliens. We have become orphans, fatherless; our mothers are like widows, We must pay for water we drink; the wood we get must be bought. with a yoke on our necks we are hard driven; we are weary, we are given no rest. We have made a pact with Egypt and Assyria, to get enough bread. Our ancestors sinned; they are no more, and we bear their iniquities. Slaves rule over us; there is no one to deliver us from their hand. We get our bread at the peril of our lives, because of the sword in the wilderness. Our skin is black as an oven from the scorching heat of famine. Women are raped in Zion, virgins in the towns of Judah. Princes are hung up by their hands; no respect is shown to the elders. Young men are compelled to grind, and boys stagger under loads of wood. The old men have left the city gate, the young men their music. The joy of our hearts has ceased; our dancing has been turned into mourning. the crown has fallen from our head; woe to us, for we have sinned! because of these things our eyes have grown dim: because of Mount Zion, which lies desolate; jackals prowl over it. But you O LORD reign forever, you throne endures to all generations. Why have you forgotten us completely? Why have you forsaken us these many days? Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may be restored; renew our days as of old-unless you have utterly rejected us and are angry with us beyond measure. Lamentations chapter 5

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Adonai Yir'eh

The Lord who sees: Gen 22:14; Adonai sees all and knows our needs intimately

Adonai Yir'eh is the name that Abraham gave the LORD when a ram was provided as substitute for his son Isaac on the alter. This name carries with it a sense of the LORD as not only seeing the universal plan, but also knowing the details of the desires of our hearts on a very personal level.

As I was reading the various names of God, "Adonai Yir'eh" was spoken to my heart. It is as if the LORD said to me "this is who I Am, this is who I Have Been and who I will continue To Be" It is difficult for me to believe this reality. I know in my head the the LORD cares about the details, but it is difficult for me to trust and live in that promise.

As I look over the last few months I see the LORDS provision for me in incredible ways! For example, He has blessed me with a new house that is more than I asked for! There were certain things I was looking for in a house and He provided above and beyond what I expected! There is an amazing flower garden, a baby pergola and a little garden nook! I could continue the list, but suffice it to say that my spirit is incredibly blessed by these details.

This fall, as I walked in uncertainty about my future, I felt as if I was in the wilderness. Much as the Israelites were in the wilderness after their redemption from Egypt, I was in a wilderness of uncertainty and angst about the future. The first three months of their journey to the promised land was a time when they learned that the LORD was Adonai Yir'eh. He provided manna, water and victory over their enemies in miraculous ways. It was AFTER they had gone through these months of wilderness and needed to trust daily in the LORD for every aspect of their existence the he brought them to Mt Sinai. It was here that the LORD said "Now therefore if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples. Indeed, the whole earth is mine, but you shall be for me a priestly and holy nation. These are the words that you shall speak to the Israelites." Ex 19:6

I ask myself if the Israelites would have been ready for this promise if the LORD had said this right after the Red Sea crossing. I can only think not. They learned so many lessons in the wilderness that prepared them for this next step in their relationship with YHWH. A similar theme is seen when the psalmist says "it is good for me that I was humbled, so that I might learn your statues." (Ps 119:71). I have to agree. The time in the wilderness shows me I can not PLAN well enough nor DO well enough on my own. It is the loneliness and alone-ness that causes me to seek the LORD. As I am humbled and the LORD daily provides my needs, I am prepared for the next level of obedience and deeper dependence on Adonai Yir'eh.

I look forward to where the LORD will take me in these next few months and years. I am moving to a new town, starting a medical practice and have bought a new house! At times I am overwhelmed with the enormity of the change but am continually reminded that the LORD is Adonai Yir'eh-he will take care of all my needs down to the smallest detail!

Blessed art thou, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, for keeping us alive, taking care of us and bringing us to this time. Blessed art thou, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, who provides for me all of my needs. -May the blessings you have given me bring You Glory and Honor.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


I love what I do. I am privileged to take care of patients through all stages of their lives. No where is this more rewarding than obstetrics. I met a little baby last week. She was only 7 weeks old by ultrasound measurements but she had a heartbeat and I could see her jump and move as I watched her on the screen. Her mom was young and wanted to talk about "options". We talked about adoption verses keeping the baby. I gave mom a picture of her heartbeat. When I asked, Mom said she wanted to keep her, that she knew it would be tough but that she had a decent support system. Mom made an appointment with me to get started with her OB care.

Mom had an abortion last week.

My heart breaks for the little life that doesn't get to be. No one mourned her passing. No one chose to give her a chance to live. I knew her Mom was at high risk to make this Choice and I spent more time with her than I had, hoping, praying to make a difference. Ultimately it was Mom's Choice to make. I know that it is not easy to be pregnant, that delivery is painful is nine months of inconvenience for a chance to LIVE.

And now, Mom alone is my patient. She has pain after the procedure and they told her to follow up with me. I asked Why she made that Choice. I had to know. The answer was simply that the pregnancy was an inconvenience- she didn't WANT to be pregnant right now.

I need and truly want to show her love, but do not know how. There is no remorse, there is no understanding of what she has done. There is just inconvenience because now she has pain. So I will treat her pain and any complications and will trust Christ to love her through me.

And I will be the only one who weeps for the life that was lost.