Isaiah 30: 185-21
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the HOLY ONE of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said 'No, we will flee on horses!' Therefore you will flee! You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses!' Therefore your pursuers will be swift! A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.'
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! O people of Zion who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the LORD gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"
The last weeks and months have been times of seeking the Lord for direction. I was overwhelmed by options and no clear sense of which direction to pursue. I would spend time praying, but did not receive freedom to move in any direction. I was frustrated and struggled to wait patiently. I wanted to make a decision, to move in some direction-any direction! I returned many times to the above passage. I realized that I was stuck in the first part, wanting to come to a solution on my own, in my own timing. To choose rest and trust was difficult. I was challenged by those more wise than I to rest in the process; to seek the LORD and let the seeking be enough.
A few weeks ago I was at a medical mission conference. I was able to spend more time praying and spending time with the LORD. I still remember where I was standing when the Lord very clearly give me a vision for the next few years, guidance in where to find a practice and connections for future mission work! Praise the LORD for answered prayer! I was actually talking to a missionary at the time. It wasn't anything profound that he was saying or any new information that I learned, simply the power of the Holy Spirit! "...Whether you turn to the right or the left your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'this is the way, walk in it.'" I am humbled that in the middle of my struggle to trust, the Lord has shown himself faithful-as he has so many times in the past! To him be all honor and glory!
I continue to learn that in repentance and rest is my salvation and in quietness and trust is my strength. As I look back on the days and nights of frustration and the angst related to next steps, I see that I continue to be drawn into deeper relationship with Christ. And THIS is what I choose; to know Christ, considering everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Him. How can I choose otherwise?
Praise you LORD for your faithfulness! May the path that you take me on be a testament to your greatness and character. "If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you." (Ex 33:13)